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Getting old…

From some time now, I’ve been trying to think hard what I want to do, long term. It has never been really clear for me. I have several options, and some tendency and affinity to certain specific professions, but there are so many!

Some day I began to realize that I’ve been feeling trapped inside a stereotype of life which I didn’t understand, but yet have the urge to achieve. It is the society we live in, they make us believe things, unconsciously, and from a very early age, that we wouldn’t accept if we had more knowledge. And maybe it is not on purpose, it is just the blind tradition they need to follow.

But once you realize it, it’s (supposedly) easier to change. But, to become what?

I am not sure. I want to become a lot of things, I like doing tons of stuff, people (and sometimes even me) tell me that no one can have it all, but it is hard to give up something. I just want it all, I don’t like taking decisions that have to do with giving up something for another, but I know I have to. I believe it is the responsibility of my actions I refuse to accept. But I’ll have to deal with it some day, and I need to start right away.

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Every day, the future looks a little bit darker. But the past, even the grimy parts of it, keep on getting brighter

—Sally Jupiter