+ LozBlog

One more time for the years start, like never learn. On the seventh. Like the song “On a lone and lonesome highway”.

The saint of July (she, her) sold well, and the next target was secured fast too. What was not so fast: build up (first the planners, though). Lotso green too.

Mural feat and AI galleries show. Also lectures. Tis happened early on.

1 year of TB news, and also started YT place; one year from now, it would hopefully pro (feet).

June fell by bearing news of an Ivory’s leaving lecturer; language guide bid farewell. She understood the meaning of loss, and grieved it sourly; felt it deeply touching.

A green shooting star fell by at the end of june; speechless sadness. MG. Of things that should not be.

Ivory believes her ascendant is impervious to all damage and almighty. Feels awesome but daunting, as one day true colors will be revealed, and deception will take place. Eager to achieve it just to please and acquire a smile.

Towards years end, the alacran rebrand was taking place in brick and mortar. Excited about it! Though we’re still away from the finish line.

On other reflections, another acquisition was made: one of them related to the kinship that is chosen, to the family encountered throughout the journey. Happy about that too; GP (thanks, cliff).

Deccall (calling): d day. Long feared by many, low commits at ground level. ‘Tis now here, to stay they say. Or not? 

Overall, from the top of it, seemed not a bad span, though there are definitely some down sides.

After the decal call, also got vid by the (spanish) “otter”, and started inverse-earning load, which was good, though very slow paced ‘since ’cause of sometimes missing guides.

Then I got inspired and wrote the following, about enterprises to take on, since I was getting a bit lost and stressed about next steps, figuring out if its worth investing time in futureless projects or focusing on priorities, which is a heavy burden for me to tackle. There’s so many things I want to do, and even though I know and understand I can’t do them all, I still strive hard for not letting go of any of them. Let me retell that story: I know I can’t, yet I find it difficult quitting on ventures and schemes.

Anyhow, that was the context, now here’s the mind wagon trip:

It all started when watching some videos from a world builder guy, the video is called “how world building changed my life” or something similar (from the guy that makes a fiction universe called “Tumium” I think), and it ignite a spark in my mind.

I was struggling (even existentially, today at twelve twenty, even depressed; why go on? why do anything? if it becomes so useless, so vane, so meaningless…) all because of a paradigm shift; I wanted to migrate from TB to story, (again, because of the aforementioned focus struggle) and I thought I had already made my mind some years ago! Why the change? If I had just made a conclusion, why challenge it? Sometimes I feel like some inner thoughts are written in stone (by myself), and, trying to be objective, that action itself lacks need, merit or meaning.

Then more ideas started to pop in, learning about Hernán Casciaris(a lier) and his work, also got me thinking in (even more) projects I could tackle that hopefully would not overload in time and effort but would feed my creative stomach.

For example, I heard Casciari’s “audio story narrated podcast” or radio show or whatever, and I figured I could start (spoiler!) my own space at interviewing people and having them narrate their story on cam/mic, so I can still pursue some story and host driven thing (both sought after).

(By the way, a few days after having written the above, while revisiting the text and readying it for finally publishing it, after giving it a second thought, I’m not so sure about that, I mean, still like the idea, but perhaps could work on it a bit further ahead, so I don’t bite too many new/different things.)

But my thoughts kept coming back to the story, to the creative writing, which might later become audio or short video or feature film or chaptered series or interactive or game… As Casciari has said (something I’ve known true to myself for several years now), It’s not the medium, but the story itself I long for.

So I made a table of data with the main cats to try to figure out what the priorities were/are (drew it in my enchiridion), what’s next (prog, teach, story, TB [a few days into 24, also would add: PhD, feature (Cr, other’s work, TR, etc.), and Storian].

In that initial time, story became the winner, as it would provide with the greatest satisfaction (data proven). I may run again those numbers (which are mostly subjective) and make adjustments to see if it still holds but truth is, working on that was kind of liberating ’cause my mind was aching trying to hold to TB while realizing I wasn’t putting enough time into it, and I wanted to change something, but as I had already set it, decided it, stubbornly, fixed, unchangeable, I couldn’t get myself to do so (update).

As days passed I started to think more about all this, and to be marveled by another video creator that I thought was (is) so awesome, it was inspiring. Its called Curious Archive, and it narrates works of art (video games, movies, art books and so on), but he analyzes them so deeply, so interestingly, that I became an instant fan. He compares the works he’s currently analyzing to novels, movies, and other forms of art. I think he is a genius, at least he inspired me too, as I also like to analyze stuff, specially the works of art (series, movies, games, mainly stories I now realize), perhaps even overthink it, and now that I think about it, I probably imagined at some point that those trains of useless pontification about works of fiction might be of interest to somebody else, but never really thought about turning that into a project (alas, now I have… thought about it that is, not actually worked on it). So I want to make that kind of thing too, although not number 1 prio right now.

So all in all, I have more content that I can probably handle (special hi to jc on the mv, which is so delayed), but having let go of the fixture of only TB, has provided enough insight to keep the inner realms at peace (for a while maybe?)